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NEW KILPATRICK PARISH CHURCH
open hearts, open minds, open faith
Prenatal
People of faith
gather first
round stories of beginnings
They gather first
round stories that begin with a blank page
We gather first
round stories
of before the world was made
And what we do there
is dare
to take
the first
words
and let them
shape the shape
of the page
It is creation again and again
every page
a new act
of imagination
hope
desire
spilling more and more words
into the unplanned
unknown
unmade
And this is a basic act of faith
if the bible is true
for think of the stories we have
of wilderness wandering
of resurrection
of red seas
and floods
What are they
but beginning stories
where what is yet to come
exists
unknown
on a still yet
blank page
the words haven’t reached it yet
they haven’t settled down in some planned order
and anchored the events
in a preordained narrative
they are still to write
It is an act of faith
to recognise
each act
each pace
is a beginning place
A wildness place
a chaotic place
which we have yet to emerge from
It is pre-natal
amniotic
In the Wilderness
The Hebrews found wilderness a difficult place
After 400 years of being told what to do
and when
freedom was a difficult thing
How do you learn to make decisions
find responsibility
think about consequences for others
When there has always only been
words of instruction
how do you hear words of love?
They must be frightening
dismantling
no framework to hang them on
With no experience of freedom
words of love
must be unintelligible
It takes time
to be loved again
to trust again
to find that inner core
that remembers
how we are created
in love
for love
The wilderness
strips away the narrow lines of definition
and slowly
O so slowly
frees you
into the breadth
of new life
Music: Howard Shore: Lord of the Rings: Evenstar
Of course
God found it no easier
God found Godself
as petulant and God’s People
It works like that:
love
It isn’t a high and mighty thing
that rises above the base emotions
It is the base emotion
it makes you angry
and challenged
and hurt
and broken
and desired
and desiring
this is wilderness too
denuded of the brave face
the stiff upper lip
and prone to
the pain of finding
new balance
in our relationships
God was no different
from Gods People
because they were learning
what it was like
to be in love
with each other
Music: Howard Shore: Lord of the Rings: Evenstar
Jesus found himself in the wilderness
it was a creative place
a dismantling place
a cathartic experience
of letting go
the ambitions of the world
the devil in the details
of power-broking
and personality
and finding a new reliance
on a love
that is so free
so untied to anything
you could let go
everything
nothing
was necessary
for this world
except love
not of this world
but alive within it
a wilderness experience
of rebirth
renewal
resurrection
Music: Howard Shore: Lord of the Rings: Evenstar
Our own wildernesses
a place
a time
a relationship
an idea
to strip us of all that has been familiar
a grief
a calamity
a crisis of faith
that leaves us
in wilderness
lost,
where Egypt behind us
feels better
than the unknown before us
This is the yet to be place
the creative
shifting of the rules
the familiars
into some new arrangement
that enables
life
to be possible again
It is a God filled place
of questions
and arguments
of falling out
and falling in
All of that is God
all of it
until the levels are reached
and the love strong enough
to invite
a step
towards the future
unwritten
but already loved
​
​
​
Numbers 14
In the Wilderness
Prayer
People of faith
gather first
round stories of beginnings
They gather first
round stories that begin with a blank page
We gather first
round stories
of before the world was made
And what we do there
is dare
to take
the first
words
and let them
shape the shape
of the page
It is creation again and again
every page
a new act
of imagination
hope
desire
spilling more and more words
into the unplanned
unknown
unmade
And this is a basic act of faith
if the bible is true
for think of the stories we have
of wilderness wandering
of resurrection
of red seas
and floods
What are they
but beginning stories
where what is yet to come
exists
unknown
on a still yet
blank page
the words haven’t reached it yet
they haven’t settled down in some planned order
and anchored the events
in a preordained narrative
they are still to write
It is an act of faith
to recognise
each act
each pace
is a beginning place
A wildness place
a chaotic place
which we have yet to emerge from
It is pre-natal
amniotic